Being born a heterosexual male, into a ascendant social group, immediately entitles you to a set of privileges you never signed up for. Countless practices, sexist stereotypes, and normalizations of gender based oppression later, you are rendered incapable of viewing the privilege as separate from yourself, and end up cultivating a combative attitude towards any discussion of gender equality or debunking the toxic culture of carrying privilege. It starts the moment you’re born. If the ‘me too’ movement goes in all the right directions and lights up the cracks and fixes them, then, i am positive that this generation of men are going to evolve into a bunch of grandfathers that can’t even pay all the bills. I’ve seen a ton of people in the last few months- men trying to access to weapons and materials against women in their defence which is mainly because toxic masculinity has contributed in more ways than anyone can imagine. Toxic masculinity doesn’t say ‘kill women’- it says ‘women are out for boys to get them’It says ‘sometimes you have to keep your women in line’. It says ‘it’s none of your business if a man gets drunk and smacks his wife. It is between the man and wife’, and toxic masculinity gives birth to misogyny and patriarchy which basically says- men who report 30 year old sexual assault are brave. Women who report 30 year old sexual assault are liars. It is men being able to pee in public and get away with it and women being demonised just for breastfeeding. It is multitasking women, mothers and wives who handle personal and professional lives being glorified and underpaid because of the glorious glorification for the backbreaking labour. The pattern to be noticed is, women are institution of therapy for men but in a non-consensual way because everything is imposed on women.It is ‘boys will be boys’ will forever scream ‘it’s just the way men are. protect yourself’. Boys are taught that sex is a skill of accusation rather than an act of intimacy and boys in their early teens have sex for sport and wear their bodies as trophies. Toxic masculinity, misogyny, entitlement, gender privilege and patriarchy is an entire culture which screams that consent is a prize not possession. This i believe, is the main reason for the challenges that women are facing. What men don’t get is that if they haven’t directly sexually assaulted a woman, they almost guaranteed to have contributed to the culture by which her assault is normalised by not asking other men to stop their harassment, degradation, catcalling, groping and shaming women for their sexual past. But it’s one hundred percent men’s responsibility to educate other men on how not to be toxic. Toxic men don’t listen to women and that’s the part of why they are toxic. So other men, don’t tell other women you are a good man. Tell other men to how to be be a good man. We can easily prevent this by understanding the semantics of ‘NO’ and accepting rejection. Not requesting again and again to touch, hug or kiss because a woman’s body isn’t a commodity. Emotionally negotiating and manipulating can be very draining and can make anyone furious. sitting back and giving space and respecting each other’s choices will land you in no trouble whatsoever. Impact is always heavier than intentions so apologising and being humble will only make things better. Don’t take a cue and act rather ask away and react. Feeling safe and acknowledged is independence to me.