The first time I fell in love

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[{"type":"txt","id":"rich_1547018418029","data":"Everyone has that one crack head friend who is completely and utterly obsessed with horror films and the macabre; and if you don\u2019t have a friend like that, then it\u2019s probably you. When it comes to me and my group of idiots, we are all a bunch of teenage addicts of adrenaline rush. Who wouldn't want to feel like a super human every now and then even though its for a very short time? That's what adrenaline rush does to you. <\/p>I'm one step away from becoming an adult and to whoever said that ageing is a beautiful feeling-Let me tell you pal, that is absolute crap. <\/p>When I was eighteen-months-old, a lot of things happened. If you really thought I was going to share everything I did as a baby, then there's something wrong with you. I'm not <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Lucy_(2014_film)\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\">Lucky<\/a>. I don't even remember what I ate for yesterday's dinner. That's how good my memory power is. Impressive, isn't it?<\/p>My childhood passed in a flash at lightening speed. It was cringe-worthy and not worth sharing at all. I did everything from sneaking out to stealing money. You know, the typical childhood of an Indian girl. <\/p>When I was thirteen, insecurities were over the top of everything in my life and confidence wasn't even on the list. My young self was naive enough to let people's words get through my head. I didn't fit in. Friendship was pretty non-existent. I was an introvert. I still am. I hated crowds. I still do. I was terrified of speaking in public. I almost fell into depression. It was dark times. But as Dumbledore said and I quote,\"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.\"<\/i><\/p>Guess, I forgot to turn on the light. After living in the sheer darkness for over an year, I saw it for the first time in a very long time. It wasn't the dramatic light effect. <\/p>I dodged opportunities then, I chase them now. I didn't knew my self worth then, but now I don't accept anything less than what I deserve. The naive thirteen-year-old is long gone and for good. The worst fears still exist but I have learned to overpower them. I built a china wall with a negativity filter around my head. This didn't happen over a night. In fact, it took a lot of nights and insomnia to become what I'm today.<\/p>I thought I wasted years of my life on the internet instead of preparing for Entrance tests. I found acceptance there. My loneliness was cured. I saw the world in a different light. I found an escape from the world and that's when books became my best friends. I still spend more time reading than with my friends. I realised I had been living under a rock the whole time. There's so much to this world that many of us chose not to see. <\/p>I still remember the times when me and my aunt would grow excited on Saturday nights. We would have it all planned. The blankets, the popcorn, the pillows and of course dimmed lights. I would leave the door unlocked to run out of the room, just in case if a Zombie jumps out of the TV to come and eat me alive. Yeah laugh all you want. But it doesn't change the fact that life is much more cruel. It has no mercy and there's no permanent escape. One can only strengthen themselves and face it or succumb to it. Its inevitable.<\/p>It started out small. Who would have thought the once strangers I met online would change my life forever? As cliche as that statement sounds, its true. One taught me kindness. One brought fun to my boring life. All of them broadened my mind to a whole new level. What they say is true: People don't walk into your life for no reason. <\/p>The change is happening gradually. Sure, it costed me a much better engineering seat but I wouldn't trade it for anything and one day, I was looking at myself in the mirror and I knew it was all worth the failure. Because it was the moment I fell in love. One of the best feelings I have ever felt. I was proud because I'm not girl I used to be and I'm not sorry about that. Its called growth and I thank god for it everyday. <\/p>All this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't hit the ground that one time. Rock bottoms will teach you things that mountain tops never will. <\/p>Loving yourself is a struggle. Its not about making excuses for your flaws but rather accepting them. In life, I made mistakes and learned from them but I don't have any regrets. Because all of those mistakes, lead me here. With each passing day, I fall in love with myself all over again. <\/p>Self acceptance is something that's not easy to achieve. But once you do, trust me, you have won at life. You will feel stronger, not because of your muscle but because of your mental strength to break social constructs and pave your own path. <\/p>The greatest feeling is knowing yourself inside out. One of the biggest challenges in life is being yourself, unapologetically. After all, you are the one you should love in this world. <\/p>\"Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery and I promise you, something great will come out of it.\"<\/i> <\/p> <\/p> <\/p>Author's note: I may sound like I'm bragging. I'm just trying to reach people with my experiences. No matter how small the audience is, I would be delighted if at least one good thing comes out of it. Thanks for reading my sob story. I appreciate it. Constructive criticism is welcomed.<\/i><\/b><\/p> <\/p>And remember, you are awesome. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.<\/i><\/b><\/p> <\/p> <\/p> <\/p>"}]

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